Season 20 of the Amazing Race illustrated the show's increasing unwillingness to feature interesting pairing in favor of choosing pretty women who date/marry buff men. Where are the total freaks with weird obsessions with Japanese snuggle pillows? Where are the old people who probably don't stand a chance? Tip to CBS: nobody wants to see pretty people succeed. We are fat middle Americans eating Fazoli's while watching your slim blondes race around the world. At least I am. And I don't.

There are still a couple of teams that sort of fit my criteria, so thusly, I shall ROOT FOR THEM. Nary and Jamie are awesome Lady Cops (aka Federal Agents) and their opening footage features them shooting things. Dave and Cherie are married clowns, which they don't seem to realize is a creepy occupation. They also don't seem to realize that they need to be "fast" and "strong" to win the competition, so I don't know how long they'll be around to root for.

Last, and best, is the team of Mark and Booper from a super poor area of Kentucky. Either Mark or Booper--I'm not sure which is which--is missing his two front teeth and the other throws up out the window of the car. It was just driving along so I don't know how he'll survive riding bicycles, elephants, rickshaws or the like, but I'm rooting for them. They obviously need the million more than hot, half-Japanese sister golfers because we watch them eating fried chicken in their intro video. 

The show begins in Santa Barbara, California--wine country. Phil shows the contestants a vineyard with one-hundred tethered hot air balloons that they need to pull down to find their next clue. Turns out, they will be traveling first to Santa Barbara, Argentina. The first six teams to find the clue secure their spots for next week by reserving seats on an earlier flight.

Once in Argentina, one of the teammates has to sky dive from 10,000 feet. Some of the contestants show their fear by getting sweatier than normal, but they all go through with it. Next, they get to do the first thing I want to do when I'm sweaty and nasty--make 120 empanadas. My team says they've never made piñatas before, and I'm with them all the more.

In the end, the pretty half-Japanese golfer girls get eliminated because they don't look to their right to see Phil standing downhill just a little ways. They cry because they lost a million dollars, but really if you make a stupid mistake like that on the first episode, you wouldn't have made it too much further. Don't worry; you're pretty!