This morning, I received an email from the airline Virgin America this morning, informing me that they were now serving absinthe on their flights. Seems as if they’re offering it in a cocktail with sprite and lemon, and presumably straight up. One has to assume that they’re not going have the whole sugar – spoon – flame ritual, due to problems with, yknow, the plane catching fire in mid air.

Even leaving aside the fact that that cocktail sounds, well, weird, I can’t help but think this is a bad idea. Now, I’m not ashamed to say that I love Virgin America. They are cheap, and it’s a little like being in a flying hair salon. Or maybe now, some sort of up market bar. Here’s the thing, though; my experiences with absinthe, thus far, have been mixed at best, and downright embarrassing at worst. Let me preface this by saying that I’m more than capable of handling my drink; this isn’t a story about getting wasted and been stupid and drunk and sloppy. Actually, it is, a little. But I’m not proud of it.

The first time I drank absinthe, I ended up in tears outside the door of my roommate, with no recollection of why I was crying, or why I was there. I thought this was curious, the next day, but I put it down to a weird night, and just being tired and emotional.

The second time, I woke up when someone came to knock on the door of my house and they found me curled up on the doorstep. Again, no recollection of how, why, when. Seeing a theme here?

I should stress that in both instances I had had two glasses of absinthe. And a couple of beers. Neither evening was any sort of massive bender.

Maybe, though, this is what Virgin want? That their passengers will just pass out on the flight, and wake up in Orange County, with no recollection of their trip? It’d certainly make life easier for the cabin crew, is for sure. Maybe it’s a government plot, so that agents can rifle through our baggage? Wait, that’s a silly idea. They can already do that at the gates.

Still, you can easily see this backfiring. It’s a drink that sneaks up on you – you can easily consume one, feel fine, order another, and then go CRAZY. I’m a pretty docile person, so I reacted by getting falling asleep and mourning my lost youth. Do the cabin crews want to be dealing with absinthe blinded individuals rampaging up and down the planes? And will that count as a defense of temporary insanity in a court of law?

I’m exaggerating, of course. People probably won’t go nuts, and try to take over the plane. The flight crew probably won’t partake, and send the plane into a headlong dive.

Still, it does seem an odd thing to do, nevertheless. What do you think? Can you come up with a more inappropriate thing for an airline to serve?